time flies, so does butterflies.

Facing the morning with the usual thought of him made me feel morose. There's no denying that. Last night I was reading a book of a saga (I've read it already last yr w/c I decided to read again just to alter my thoughts) and I was on the soppy part of the book when I received a text from him. STOP. I don't wanna talk about it or him anymore. What for? let's just wait and see what happens when he get back coz I myself don't know anymore how to deal with this and what to do with him.

Anyways, I think today I've improved in acting oblivious. I wish I could master it and be just like men--life's COMPARTMENTALIZED. (& I really wanted to asked my prof why there are more suicidal males than females if they know how to set their priorities right?!)

So here's a list I've made on how to be OBLIVIOUS:

1. Be UNMINDFUL.
-of course you can't command your mind to forget. Subconsciousness prevails. ;) therefore think," Why shoud you care when he doesn't?"

2. DON'T welcome FREE TIME.
-keep yourself busy. your MIND busy. (as for me, having a good book will somehow take effect)

3. DON'T SHUT OFF your mobile.
-there you'll see if he really cares. [don't worry if he won't care, it's HIS LOSS babe.)

4. take DELIGHT in SIMPLE THINGS.
-again, this is to alter your thoughts. appreciate little things like seeing a bright full moon. procrastinating pleasure. seeing a pregnant lady exercise. (I know I'm stupid)

5. LOVE YOURSELF.
-let him be.

***caution: this is just for me. I don't know if it works for you. hhurrhhh.!
I thought I said I'm not going to talk about him anymore? uggh.♥

You're sooo making me upset! how can you be so annoying?! SIMPLE! you can't understand me coz you're not willing to. You're hearing my words yet you are not listening! see the BIG DIFF?? plain arrogance. pft.
you're too busy with your break, so set off! stop bothering me! you're just making me madder and madder! uuuggghH! I hate you much much much!! you clearly know I'm not a fan of -TEXTs- and you very well know it doesn't do any gooood! get it?! so why don't you just enjoy there and make up when you're back here??. THAT is if you have plans of making up. coz as far as i know you're too full of yourself to mind other things like r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p-s! or merely having a GF. ring a bell?! If you think I'm all this FUSS TO YOU then why won't you just drop it?!. kaulugot aH! S>T>O>P it!
Enjoy ka da! Do whatever you wanna do! coz i'm soooo fed up na gd ja! you think i'm happy with you taking me for granted?? EASY for you to say you'll make up and blahs!!! I doubt you. 100xs!
and i still fKuciN L-O-V-E you!!! ambot ah! ggrrrr!
[hating how MUCH i love you huh???????]

I'm not like this. Before. I can write. Write random stuff and words become superfluous. Now everything's FLAT. dead flat. I'm done editing my blog now. spent hours on this. I'm not bored though, I just don't have something to do.
Now i'm stuck with the pc again for the hundredth time since last week. I think I don't write as much as before coz i'm so fed up with the reactions I get.(from the person who really MATTERED!) For days(or weeks?!) i've been jaded by thoughts. Thoughts which matter to him to my friends. Again, TO MY FRIENDS. they're the ones who LISTENED. He's not interested in hearing me. He's too busy. Too busy to even see me for 5 darn minutes!
=Gawd! Y would I care if he doesn't even care? "U missed the monthsareee babe! remember???"
and hell you know Y it's much more important than its LITERAL meaning! !@#$ I'm DISAPPOINTED. Include the PAIN. and while you enjoy there don't expect me to sulk here.
I'm unintrested as to where this squabble will take our relationship to,cause even if it'll turn out to make better or worse of us, it fCukin'  HURTS!!!