last night, after I send the letters, I saw you were online. And your status said something like "dane, pm mo lng me mag ol ka,tnx.."
i'm sorry I gave u a message 
I just can't stand not saying what i still feel for you. after saying i love you I closed my ym immediately,too afraid of what will be your reply. Too afraid to know if you're good.
Instead I went to bed and tried to forget that I gave you a message. Too bad for me all I found was me crying again on your teddy 
.
when I woke up this morning I don't feel like going to school. It felt like there's nothing to be excited about in going to school. and of course I know that we have the same class schedule this morning. I'm really stupid for thinking that I will catch you in the ride. I can't help staring at the stop were we used to meet. I miss you .
After having our first class, my classmates and I went out to print our reports. I met mnang Heidi on the way out. I felt cold and bad. But mnang Heidi's blooming and I said hello to her. When we got out of lasal I asked glenna where we're going to print our report and she said at SD. Why does everything have to remind me of you?
I saw kirk and gerald on the way back. and breathed when I saw that you were not with them. I'm not prepared to see you face to face. the only thing I know is that i'll always be ready to break down. I was like a walking cadaver since days ago, lifeless. It's like I want to see you everytime I look around and at the same time I don't want to. What would I do If I see you? how would I react?
me and ems went to rob and sat at chowking, talking about stuff like birthdays. How we don't want to celebrate coz we know it'll be sad for both of us. How the christmas decos in rob reminded me how much you're excited about christmas. we talked about stuff that didn't exist anymore. that won't exist.
Kelvin came just in time for me to leave for our pe practice at 4pm. they held me back but I won't bcoz we have to practice. they even tried to scare me when they said that I'll only see you there. They were right.
I SAW YOU. at around 4'15, walking out to the right of gate 1 accompanied by 2 friends. Just in time that I turned left to go inside. I freezed again, then felt the tears welling up. I rushed to the cc and sat and stared.
I wanted to cry through practice, I couldn't even concentrate on anything anymore. After the practice I went out and waited for ems&vin at gate1. looking around and searching only for your face. I wanted to cry right there&then and finally I did when they picked me up and brought me home.. I cried all the way.
I couldn't stop feeling that I don't have anything to do in this world anymore. I was out of place. I don't even want to be with my friends, they will just absorb my sorrows, and I don't want them too. I don't want to stay all by myself,i'll only think of you(although I do all the time) all this time I wanted to be with you. just you. and I lost you.
I cried again when I had finally decided to open my ym,and faced whatever disappointment laid before me.
you replied last night
