I'll pretend to write these letters to you and to send them afterward just for me to express my feelings to, and I would really like you to read them, but I know I'm not allowed, for it only hurts you more and you asked me not to.
The night you broke up with me, last 26th of Sept., my beautiful little world emptied. I know I deserve this because of my lies to you, and I really am sorry. You were very angry at me. And I can't blame you `coz I was the one who hurt you, the one who ruined "US". I didn't want to give up for I know I can't bear this pain. That's why I decided to talk to you next day after NSTP class. I remember everything that happened that day, I tried to talk you out of it and pleaded you with my useless, stupid sorry-s. That cloudy afternoon, when you walked away after you took me home, I felt so depressed. very much. I texted you, yet I never had any reply. I reminded myself, that you were reminding me that I should stop hoping coz I've got no chance. But I still can't let it be, it's too hard. I slept that night with teArs in my eyes and I was too tired to fight the pain.
That Sunday morning, I texted you, and again on noon, still there's no reply. From the moment I woke up, you were the one who occupied my mind, and as hours pass by, it felt like waiting for eternity. Torture. I deserve this, I know. I can't bear another single minute without hearing from you so I called you. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know waht to say.
My last favor was for you to let me be your friend and I'll wait for you to forgive me, even if it takes a year, that way, I can let you see and I can prove to you that I'm sorry for what I've done and for me to do everything to bring back your trust. But you won't accept it, you kept telling me it's over and you said that you'll prefer to treat meas an enemy than as a friend. and you told me that you're hurting too, but you just won't accept me ever again.
I cried to you, I always do, and after trying to convince you and failed, I gave up. I decided to follow what you asked instead. I won't forget that last phone call, how it ended. You asked me if there's anything more i want to say, of course there were lots to say but I settled in telling you how much I love you and I'm sorry. Then I asked you, your response tore me apart. you said,"In, di na mag asa pa.bye" I drowned in tears.
The pain was too much to bear.an hour later you texted me, but I mourned over to what it said, that I shouldn't contact you in any way for it hurts you. and I didn't reply until you sent another one saying that I shouldn't have called that night coz it made you remember the pain. I followed what you asked. and your last text to me was,"shit!"
I hugged and kissed your teddy that night and cried to him. It felt like you. It always do. But I wasn't able to sleep until I put him aside.
Monday, I remebered you told me on the phone that you didn't want to see me coz you'll hurt again remembering. I'm afraid to see you though, coz when i do, my heart my mind my soul shouts for you, craves for you, LOVES YOU. And that way, I can never forget you. My love for you will never cease, that's for sure. This monday, I'm glad you didn't see me, i don't want you hurting, but I am hurting to, more over when I see you, but our difference is, I WANT to see you. I miss you 
