JAIVEE!!! mwuahh!!
thank you so much for EVERYTHING!!!!..
thanks for making my birthday joyful and perfect!
I was reaallyy surprised when you gave me the cake!
hurhhh!!... the perfume and the letter and the chocolates were
already more than enough, you, YOURSELF is already enough and gosh you bought me a cake!
you made me teary with your greeting card.. thanks.
And you! You! you silly! I thought you weren't going to dinner!
I wasn't on the mood to celebrate when you said your dad won't let you
go out that night! I cried you jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but then again, you SURPRISED mE!
thank you for showing up.. YOU ARE THE BEST GIFT I RECEIVED.
It was the best birthday so far!
we just had a simple dinner with pizzas and grilled chicken and cakes!
I had 5 of my friends came over and we had fun eating and talking and watching tv.
my friends melted some marshmallows. We didn't have sticks and coals to build some fire outside.
So they had it melted on the stove. LOL.
I had TWO cakes!-from Jayvee and Mama. Chocolate and ube. Just my favorites!
It was fun blowing seventeen candles.
It was funny cause the wax melted on the cake(but of course we were able to get them off before we ate it!)
hehehe
thanks for everyone! Especially JAYVEE!!!!!
mwuah!
hüNniE!... I'm sorry about earlier this morning.. I was expecting to see you outside the foodcourt as what your last text said, & I was disappointed when I didn't found you. & when I found you, you said you sent me a text that you'll be in SD, but I haven't received any.. I'm SORRY I swore. I shouldn't have bickered at you like that.. Maybe it was bcoz of the tension I had after taking the acctg exam and my frustrations after not seeing you there, but hell I really am sorry I wasn't able to calm down and shut my mouth.. My knees weakened when you started to walk away. (dang.) I can't stand you walking away. Anyhow, thank God you didn't. I wouldn't know what to do if you did. And thanks for staying with me and waiting for my mood to change back in. We just had a misunderstanding. Hurhh. I really hate arguing with you, hurting you. I don't want to hurt you any more.
bAby, thanks for bringing me to the movies, I enjoyed watching and thanks for dot3 I felt loved today. hope you feel how much I love you too everyday, for always.
there weren't much for today but it was a wonderful day.
thank you for having lunch with me! how I wish I always spend lunch with you even for just quick bites. I love your company on noon breaks. You're so cheery and you're hyper
I had fun running off on the road with you. The rain was a blessing. The soft drizzle and the running relaxed my full stomach
I keep watching the video we took. Missed you again
awww.! It's just been hours! hurhh!..
mwuahhhh!!
thanks for the LOVE Hun! and the nonsense talks & laugh trips you've shared with me earlier!
THANK YOU for today.
Things started to bloom its way back to life the moment you came back.
Dull things lightened and became clear. Useless stuff became important.
Everything matters now that your here. Everything became significant.
It's funny how love can rule my life. How you became MY LIFE. Every night I have thoughts of you before dozing off to wondrous dreams. Beautiful dreams spent with you. And the nightmares that follow whenever you leave that tire my eyes with tears. But each morning, my heart cheerfully welcomes the day. Thanking God for giving me more time to spend this life with you. Another chance of loving you, and to feel loved by you.
You make everything perfect just by your presence. I appreciate simple things because of you. I always want to be with you. ALWAYS.
hurrhh.. Like whenever I'm in class or reading a book, I always wish that you're with me. Always imagining that you're in my bed watching tv or sleeping when I'm reading, or sitting with you in class again,(oh I miss those times!but, I sure will get distracted if we have to sit together in a class) (I'm being selfish! haha!)
I love your warmth. The perfect mold of your body when we hug. Your wide soft hands that holds me and guides me whenever we cross a street.
I love the shiver that runs through me when you place your hand on my back locking me to you. The cute facades you make just to cheer me up.
the sweet puppy dog eyes and that seductive pout you make (Honestly, this makes me want to kiss you.) so don't do it too often. I love your silly jokes and the way you take out the lettuces&tomatoes in your burgers. I love your appetite that competes with mine! *Admit it, we both have big appetites * I love the simple YOU
I love the way we cuddle and I love getting intimate with you. I love your soothing whispers and the way you comfort me. The way your hands wipe my tears away and the way you stare at me. There's so much in you that I love. NO, EVERYTHING in you is perfect and I love YOU.
I love your being stubborn at times(although I'm more stubborn) the way you clamor when your sleepy(you look really cute) and the way you get irritated by something. hehe! mwuahh! I love you so much!
You're perfect the way you are and I've found the best in you. You blurt out the toughest words when you're angry but when the fights over your heart shines right out. You're a good person. One great hell of an awesome kind-hearted one. And you give meaning to my life.
I hope I can give you everything you want, just like the way you gave mine.
the moment I woke up, I was hoping you'll text me..
you did.. thank you
I was glad we'd managed to text each other.
I was finally gasping for hope. and you showed me.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to go out with you that afternoon,
I really want to but I couldn't.
And I'm sorry for everything that went wrong..
sometimes I think if I could ever be perfect for you?
I know no one's perfect but you're perfect with your imperfections.
When I saw you in the car today,
I felt the pain again, it tore my heart swingin open.
I saw your cold eyes again. shielding your emotions inside
where I couldn't read them.
It confused me, and I thought that I did something wrong again
that made you changed your mind.
thoughts flowed, if i ever get to hold your face again or touch you.
I tried to forget it when you went to bed
and I went to training.
But still, I couldn't forget you even for awhile.
I tried to tire myself during badminton and I did succeed.
they said I looked pale and I vomited again.
but then, stress is better than pain ain't it?
thanks for talking to me on the phone tonight.
I LOVE YOU.
I couldn't believe that friday night
we chatted
the same emotions flourished from the both of us.
Such things made me feel how our feelings were alike.
how much we've hurt, how much this made us depressed.
how much pain I caused us,
How much I've thrown away
sitting that night and chatting with you eased the pain even for just a bit.
I never would have wanted to stop chatting.
that was the only time i felt good since last week.
I never thought you'd permit me to chat to you.
thanks for letting me be with you til you slept.
appreciate it a lot
I missed my RS class today. and GG. I'm too tired and I have flu. I only attended my acctg subject and went home. Missed practice too.
I couldn't stop myself from thinking of you.
I couldn't let myself believe that this is the end for us. It's been more than a year that I almost spend everyday with you. Sitting beside you in high school and always talking to you. It's just to hard to let go of those memories and forget them, but I know I never will.
I'll never know how long I will be like this. Still hoping. though you told me that I shouldn't hope anymore.
That's okay, it's my fault. and I'm too depressed right now maybe that's the reason why I got sick. I've never been sick since last year.
Everyone's saying I should let you go, like you told me to. They say that there's nothing I can do anymore.. They're right.
It's too harddd for me to let you go. but it would be harder if I do. The case is, I DON'T WANT TO.
I don't want to forget you, I don't want to forget every memory of you. It's all I've got. All I've got to have, to remember, to cherish. I don't have you, so why would I let go of those memories that made me the happiest?..
facing all these and all that might come my way,
I know I'll never let you go. I don't want to.
I'll always love you.
last night, after I send the letters, I saw you were online. And your status said something like "dane, pm mo lng me mag ol ka,tnx.."
i'm sorry I gave u a message I just can't stand not saying what i still feel for you. after saying i love you I closed my ym immediately,too afraid of what will be your reply. Too afraid to know if you're good.
Instead I went to bed and tried to forget that I gave you a message. Too bad for me all I found was me crying again on your teddy .
when I woke up this morning I don't feel like going to school. It felt like there's nothing to be excited about in going to school. and of course I know that we have the same class schedule this morning. I'm really stupid for thinking that I will catch you in the ride. I can't help staring at the stop were we used to meet. I miss you .
After having our first class, my classmates and I went out to print our reports. I met mnang Heidi on the way out. I felt cold and bad. But mnang Heidi's blooming and I said hello to her. When we got out of lasal I asked glenna where we're going to print our report and she said at SD. Why does everything have to remind me of you?
I saw kirk and gerald on the way back. and breathed when I saw that you were not with them. I'm not prepared to see you face to face. the only thing I know is that i'll always be ready to break down. I was like a walking cadaver since days ago, lifeless. It's like I want to see you everytime I look around and at the same time I don't want to. What would I do If I see you? how would I react?
me and ems went to rob and sat at chowking, talking about stuff like birthdays. How we don't want to celebrate coz we know it'll be sad for both of us. How the christmas decos in rob reminded me how much you're excited about christmas. we talked about stuff that didn't exist anymore. that won't exist.
Kelvin came just in time for me to leave for our pe practice at 4pm. they held me back but I won't bcoz we have to practice. they even tried to scare me when they said that I'll only see you there. They were right.
I SAW YOU. at around 4'15, walking out to the right of gate 1 accompanied by 2 friends. Just in time that I turned left to go inside. I freezed again, then felt the tears welling up. I rushed to the cc and sat and stared.
I wanted to cry through practice, I couldn't even concentrate on anything anymore. After the practice I went out and waited for ems&vin at gate1. looking around and searching only for your face. I wanted to cry right there&then and finally I did when they picked me up and brought me home.. I cried all the way.
I couldn't stop feeling that I don't have anything to do in this world anymore. I was out of place. I don't even want to be with my friends, they will just absorb my sorrows, and I don't want them too. I don't want to stay all by myself,i'll only think of you(although I do all the time) all this time I wanted to be with you. just you. and I lost you.
I cried again when I had finally decided to open my ym,and faced whatever disappointment laid before me.
Emmelie and my friends cheered me up on that awful fist school day of the week. I laughed, kid around, but I never was happy. We had lunch n Jbee, and jaivee, believe me, everything kept reminding me of you.
Your classmates were there, then when we were eating, kenneth said that she didn't like lettuces on burgers so she took them off the way you did. I cringed to the thought. You never liked veggies. I started spilling ketchup and dropping things clumsily.
This is just the first day and a lot of things are already reminding me of you. how much more for the upcoming days? weeks? months? YEARS?
Ems went home with me. Then Kelvin picked us up and treated us dinner at chicken hauz. They tried to consume my time, but still, you don't leave my mind, your always there. and I know, for years, sorrow will wrap me everytime I'm alone on my bed thinking of you
I'll pretend to write these letters to you and to send them afterward just for me to express my feelings to, and I would really like you to read them, but I know I'm not allowed, for it only hurts you more and you asked me not to.
The night you broke up with me, last 26th of Sept., my beautiful little world emptied. I know I deserve this because of my lies to you, and I really am sorry. You were very angry at me. And I can't blame you `coz I was the one who hurt you, the one who ruined "US". I didn't want to give up for I know I can't bear this pain. That's why I decided to talk to you next day after NSTP class. I remember everything that happened that day, I tried to talk you out of it and pleaded you with my useless, stupid sorry-s. That cloudy afternoon, when you walked away after you took me home, I felt so depressed. very much. I texted you, yet I never had any reply. I reminded myself, that you were reminding me that I should stop hoping coz I've got no chance. But I still can't let it be, it's too hard. I slept that night with teArs in my eyes and I was too tired to fight the pain.
That Sunday morning, I texted you, and again on noon, still there's no reply. From the moment I woke up, you were the one who occupied my mind, and as hours pass by, it felt like waiting for eternity. Torture. I deserve this, I know. I can't bear another single minute without hearing from you so I called you. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know waht to say.
My last favor was for you to let me be your friend and I'll wait for you to forgive me, even if it takes a year, that way, I can let you see and I can prove to you that I'm sorry for what I've done and for me to do everything to bring back your trust. But you won't accept it, you kept telling me it's over and you said that you'll prefer to treat meas an enemy than as a friend. and you told me that you're hurting too, but you just won't accept me ever again.
I cried to you, I always do, and after trying to convince you and failed, I gave up. I decided to follow what you asked instead. I won't forget that last phone call, how it ended. You asked me if there's anything more i want to say, of course there were lots to say but I settled in telling you how much I love you and I'm sorry. Then I asked you, your response tore me apart. you said,"In, di na mag asa pa.bye" I drowned in tears.
The pain was too much to bear.an hour later you texted me, but I mourned over to what it said, that I shouldn't contact you in any way for it hurts you. and I didn't reply until you sent another one saying that I shouldn't have called that night coz it made you remember the pain. I followed what you asked. and your last text to me was,"shit!"
I hugged and kissed your teddy that night and cried to him. It felt like you. It always do. But I wasn't able to sleep until I put him aside.
Monday, I remebered you told me on the phone that you didn't want to see me coz you'll hurt again remembering. I'm afraid to see you though, coz when i do, my heart my mind my soul shouts for you, craves for you, LOVES YOU. And that way, I can never forget you. My love for you will never cease, that's for sure. This monday, I'm glad you didn't see me, i don't want you hurting, but I am hurting to, more over when I see you, but our difference is, I WANT to see you. I miss you
Sometimes, when I'm all alone and have nothing to do, I'd always think things about you, about us.But it's always you.
Sometimes I'd think of unpleasant stuff,nahh, I'd say mostly.
I can only think of happy times when we're together, for when I do, without you by my side, that'll make me miss you more.
About the unpleasant stuff, I mean about thoughts that makes me cry.
May it be what happened about us, what i've done wrong, that I shouldn't have hurt you and I always regret those times I made your precious tears fell.
I don't want to reminisce those moments for it crushes my heart. I'd always feel guilty about it. You know Jaiv, sometimes, I'm thinking about what my life would be have you not been a part of it. I realized, then I couldn't have felt nirvana. You were always there, just waiting for me to lean on to you and make me feel that everything's going to be alright. And it always does because YOU were THERE to make it right for me.
When the time comes that you have to go away, I know deep in my heart and in my soul, my love for you,my jaivee, will never change. I've imagined it already and every time I do, I find myself crying to sleep for days now. I'll miss you. And my love will keep on yearning for you.
You see, you're my intense pain and extreme happiness. No one can hurt me and inflict pain on me as much as your absence can cause. Nobody, can lift my spirits up and let it soar as much as you do. You love just watching me, and through your eyes, I can see that you're always ready to catch me if I fall. I hope you can see just how much I love you too.♥
*I didn't know that we'd break up 2days after I wrote this*
You bring a smile to my lips
every time I see you the crowd vanishes.
You are a constant blessing
that would lift me up when I'm six feet under,
when the world seems to lose its grip on me,
when I'm about to give up...
The warmth your presence brings
relaxes every tensed part of me.
Joy, bliss, insanity is what my mind thinks
and what my hearts feels having you around.
Me, my life, only searches, craves, wants & dreams
of perpetual happiness and it is only you who can give it to me.
Every part of me,
every inch of my soul
loves you to the core,
and I can't love again the way I love you.
Always and forever
*wrote this letter on my ntbk while waiting for him
having his class.*
I shouldn't have bickered at you like that.. Maybe it was bcoz of the tension I had after taking the acctg exam and my frustrations after not seeing you there, but hell I really am sorry I wasn't able to calm down and shut my mouth..
I can't stand you walking away. 
and thanks for dot3 
I felt loved today. hope you feel how much I love you too everyday, for always.
)
) (I'm being selfish! haha!
so don't do it too often.
I love your silly jokes and the way you take out the lettuces&tomatoes in your burgers. I love your appetite that competes with mine! *Admit it, we both have big appetites 
