time flies, so does butterflies.

ohh pls don't laugh..

that's him.. this picture was taken in school.. i think it was last week =)
yes, we are seatmates as i've told u before... haaaaiizzz
there are a lot of girls who are attracted to him, even the younger sister of his gf! (he told me) and one of our classmates too..
oh well i guess, i'm just until dreams..

why do i hurt when i see the person i love being hurt by the person he loves?

last wednesday, i treat my friends to dinner in a mall. i invited about 9 of my classmates but only three were able to go with me.. yeah, "HE" wasn't able to come. although it's okay. my bestfriend alexandra wasn't able to come too.. =(( i'm thankful to my three friends that they made my night enjoyable!
when we arrived at the mall, i bought a cake just this small.. hehe

we ate some pizza,chicken,spag,etc.. then after that,before we eat the cake, my foolish friends sang happy bday to me! i was so shy that time.. then i think one of the crew heard them(for they were too loud) and he asked for my i.d. i gave it to him and then 5mins later he brought me this vanilla ice cream with a cookie underneath and a candle! then 3 of the crew joined singing! i was so happy that night! i said thanks, made a wish then blew my candle! officially--I'm sixteen!!!

after that i paid the bill 22 dollars.. my mum gave me 30bucks.
we went off to the mall's arcade and played dance maniax, dance revolution, and karaoke too!! i took this picture of my two romantic friends =) am i good photographer or what? lol

here are the other images:

we are the foursome =) i don't know how we all became close.. haha it's nice to know that we four are the middle children in our families and we all have 2 other siblings! lol i'm so thankful to God i hAve them as my friends! and i hope that our friendship will last forever!
it's be just months away till we graduate.. and we'll be off to different universities.. =(( i just hope we will still be the same after those ff years..

we're friends again!!!! thanks for the advices! omg.. i can't even remember how it happened! lol last monday afternoon, he was sitting in our class room i approached him and asked him (nervously!)if he is angry with me. he just looked at me..then refused to answer me.. damn! i was about to cry that time.. but i turned and walked away... that night, i was thinking that maybe he is still angry with me and might never want to befriend me again.
the next morning, i went early to school to prepare for our practical exams in baking cake(yeah-mango creme butter cake) which later turned out to be bad. anyway, i was walking down the hallway, there weren't that much of students at that time. He just arrived. i refused to look at him. i was too hurt i think i can't stand his gaze. our hallway is not that wide, i was surprised when he greeted me. he said something like "Hi Karms" playing a tricky smile on his face. i wasn't able to respond, i just walked pass him. my reason was that his girlfriend is coming this way too.
:ater in the classroom, we talked and well it went out great. thanks again for all the advices!!
this week we just had our 2nd quarterly exams. whew! hope i'll do good in the results. i've been trying to swim but i still can't reach 20 laps in a 40-meter pool. lol. i want to get rid of my asthma. haha i can only swim 10 laps. =))

today after classes and after our c.a.t,we-seniors, went to La Salle to watch a play.
It was about a quarter to six when i got home from school. just to freshen up a bit. i remembered. when we were having our training, (i'm with the clerk squad and HE is on the medic squad) i would always look at him when i have the chance. good gracious! i can't help it. damn, i miss him a lot. i miss talking to him. he would also look at me, but then i'll see it in his eyes like he's saying,"Do I know you?".. oh God, he doesn't know a thing. he doesn't know why i ended up so mad at him and why i'd stopped talking to him. i'm so ashamed of myself. i ruined our friendship. oh yeah, we were really good friends. it's been a month now. since we stopped talking.
i want to make amendments but i'm too afraid that he won't even want to speak to me. to a view, it was my choice, i backed off, without telling him.. i don't want to bother him. he's happy with his special someone and i don't want to mess it up. his happiness is more important than mine.
but i live with desiderata. "Be at peace with everyone." it says. so how can i ask for his forgiveness? i think i'm not worthy to be his friend anymore. (and i don't think he even cares if i'll be his friend) am i really that bad?
i left the house at around 6pm(heading to la salle), when the jeepney i'm riding suddenly stopped, and there they are. My ever funny and sweet classmates for almost 5-10yrs! haha.. we went together to La salle. He was also there. I wanted to speak to him but i can't. you know the reason why.. i wanted to ask him if he's still angry with me. but i just can't. i think i don't have the right to even ask him when my presence in his life doesn't even matter. oh God. help me.
After the play, which finished off at around 8:45pm, we went to eat supper at a steak house near la salle, i think there were 9 of us. two boys, ate at another steak house and us 8 went to the nearby steak house too.
i was in line, ordering, he was next to me. i wanted to say something to him. next,a friend of mine remained standing, the four of us ate in one table,then 1 boy occupied the table next to the four's, i sat in front of that boy. the HE, sat beside the boy infront of me. i know it doesn't mean a thing coz there's no more seats available, and it will really be awkward if he'll sit on another table from the group. so we ate, like nothing's happened.(the others don't know a thing.) all of us talked and talked and talked and laugh.
we decided to head home. we rode on a jeepney. there are times that i wanted to talk to him(really) and he caught my glimpses. the hell i care. he's so different from the others. he's special.
kill me for being crazy, last night i printed out some photos. while i was cutting the photos out,i felt my heart break to pieces once more.
there were 2 of our pictures together, one inside the classroom posing like fools, and the other was taken last August on the gym.
and then i said to myself;

This is the one guy that taught me how to love again.
This is the one guy that i loved this much.
This is the one guy that i can never share the rest of my life with.

we won!

omg! we won on the folk dance competition last sept.25th!
it was a dream came true!..it's a school's history! we made it to the top!
here's the url of the photos:
http://min717.multiply.com/photos/album/5/fOlk_dance_nopsscea_2007_champions_
firSt of all.. the competition we attended was only for the private schools in our city. there were 13 schools to compete. we were the 8th to perform.
we were so blessed that none of us made a mistake! thank God. and i was'nt able to feel the pressure. it's just that we're concerned on slipping because the stage is slippery and we were wearing sandals. and-we won!
we were so happy. specially me! it was my dream to do folk dances. every year when i was in 3rd grade, i would watch the high school dancers practices every after classes, and i would stay at the back and follow their steps. luckily i was picked up to perform. and this is my senior year. =) thanks to my friend Trese.
oh and then..i'm still not sure if "HE" was there watching or not.. i wished he did.. =(
we will have the uh provincial competition on December. Don't know the exact date yet, but hope we would still win! ^_^