time flies, so does butterflies.

Hey! so i guess it's been a week or more since my last post.
we'll so here it is. In the past week we had a lot of films shown for our CF class and damn we have to have reflection papers for it.. uughh.. we had our list of top students to for this quarter. I'm happy im w/ the top 5 in our class. you know the Dept. of Education increased the standards for our grading system and it's really nice to know that we still maintain our grades.
So anyway. We had our volleyball practice this morning. I went to school at about 9:30 and it really sucks cause it was raining like hell. it should have been okay if the gym was closed but we have an open gym. so the floor's really wet. there were a lot of cases of slipping and sliding and THAT, made our practice fun! =)) we will be having another practice tomorrow too,(yeah, i know it's Sunday) but coach said we have to double-time cause we will be playing already on the 23rd. Booooo!.. the games will only be just for a week.. there'll be two games for us everyday for a week. don't you think that'll be too much?? well i blame nopsscea committee for that lame plan of having a nopsscea week.. ughhh!..
So.. after our practice,i went off to J's house. i arrived there at about 3pm. Me,Jaye and L.a. where there having fun doing our task on our physics. haha. it was really fun!!! especially when we already finished the assignment. we had some sort of open forum which was really cool(and crazy) and we finished off at about 7pm.
I went off with Jaye's auntie(I'm so thankful to her.) And she dropped me off to SM Mall to meet my mom.. there was a sale and there were a lot of people.
we were in the dept. store with my two other siblings heading for a cashier when somebody held my arm. When i looked back it was HIS dad. well i didn't notice he was beside me. (Hey remember we're not friends anymore.) So, his dad, being so ever-friendly, talked to me asking how was i, who i'm with and he also asked about his son's performance in school. So, pretending, i just kept on smiling and said all the positive things. HIM-was just there,smiling--fake.
it was all so obvious that we were trying our best to not let anyone realize that something was wrong between us. He was with his whole family. And so, I said hi to his sister and brother and then i bid goodbye giving them the reason that i'm still looking for a umbrella.(lame isn't it?? hahaha) i myself was smiling heading off to another direction.
We went out,i, feeling so punked up..hhmmpp.. we went off to the opposite wing of the mall and ate dinner. And then i bought a RED cap and a RED pillow(i dunno i'm really getting attached to red.)
and then. a blessing!! i saw my best friend, alexandra,with her family too. i told her about the meeting at the dept. store.. And she told me something.
She pointed out. i looked. Hey, it was my Ex-bf.. my first bf actually. he's with his girl. hey, i'm cool. hehe..
Oi... what's with today?? am i just unlucky or what?? today i saw the 2 guys i loved so deeply my whole life. the 2 guys that neither could be my future...

5th of september. i knew i'm in love.. (so what?)
well.. i've never been in love this past three years.
i had crushes and all of that but i wasn't able to love someone again as deep as my love for my ex's was.
NOW, i am happy i learned to love again but I'm sad because i know i will never be happy. the person i love now is too impossible to be mine.
last sept.5, i was in school. talkin with my bestfriend.
yeah. well. i cried. i really don't know why my tears fell that day. i think it was because it was when i realized that i was able to love again and at the same time i was sad. DUH. he wont look at me the way i look at him. yes. we are good friends(the guy), we ARE very GOOD friends. that same day,i went berserk,i guess i was upset because he compared me AGAIN to his gf. His one and only.
i was wearing a pussycat that day and his gf did too. she's on the other classroom..he said i look good w/ it and he added that she's looks more good w/ it. yeh well. whatdya expect me to do. i like him so much. to be compared to HIS gf is definitely not ok with me. i'm okay w/ me,us,stayin just friends w/ him, but to be compared to his gf,that's a double nuh-oh. i dunno.he kept on sayin what's wrong. he even said sorry. i said to him to stop being sloppy. i said he should not even ask for forgiveness if he doesn't even know what his fault was.(was it mine? i couldn't tell him i love him)..i was upset w/ him i didn't talk to him for the rest of the day until now.
NOW, my problem is this. i can't get him out of my mind. =( which really sucks cause i'm a part of this upcoming folk dance contest on tuesday next week. we had a dress rehearsal today at school and students were watchin us. the dance was about to finish when i saw him standin on one side of the lobby, watchin. and..well...i made a mistake on the dance, i wasn't able to remember what the next step should be. Oh god i was so embarrassed. i was so nervous. and i still am. i hope i'll do just fine on the competition. Oh God, help me. on our last examinations,i can't study. i CAN't.. it's beacause i was mad on three of my friends. i forgave them. just for me to be able to study and do well on my exams. i did. we (my 3 friends) did. hell, i can't do something satisfactory when i'm upset with somebody. especially if that somebody plays a special role in my life.
what should i do? i couldn't just tell him. =(( i'm so damn afraid.

wooo!! kat's so pretty!! and i love her voice!
she's so talented! =)) go kat!
she's my fave american idol although she came in 2nd on the 5th american idol.

awww i really am jealous to those who can go to FOB's concert in manila in the 21st of september =(( manila's too far from negros' island where i live =(( and i bet the tickets are really expensive.. aww..i really really like that band =(( =(( =((

hey i want you to meet my Best-Friend-Forever(bff)--alexandra joy Gomez. we've known each other since fifth grade. and we really have this special friendship in us. the only person who could understand me most among my friends is her. and vice versa.
we've got similar views on different situations and topics. we both love similar things like books and etc. i'm so blessed to have her ^_^
may we stay like this till hell freezes. =))